We just lost a child because of “Gods” imperfect creation of the umbilical cord
Life has his ups and downs, but there is nothing more happier than a mother being pregnant. My life’s partner Lindsay glowed, it was her wish for a long time to become a mother and starting a family. It did not take long for her to get pregnant and then our journey to parenthood started. You buy all the clothes, carry on, the crib, rebuild the house for the baby room. Everybody in your environment makes compliment and it is a very happy period. My gfr had a great pregnancy, she almost had never any mood swings and felt goof for the first 7 months. Then she had some complains like her hand a food would swell after 7 months. Our new appointment was 4 days away with a doctor in the Bangkok Pattaya Hospital. Lindsay did complain about the baby kicking a lot less, but sometimes this was the case so nothing really worry about, you think.
It was a beautiful day for our checkup and when the doctor made the ultra sound we receive the message the baby was decease possibly already for one week.
If there was ever a moment in my life that I did not know how to handle a situation or respond it was at that moment. Lindsay in tears and I just sat there starring at a monitor with the image of a child in the womb not moving, whispering the words no,no,no. The moment seemed to have lasted forever. I hugged Lindsay, held her tight and she decided to take the doctors advice to have a natural birth as this was much better for the next pregnancy. The next two days are hard to describe, there was a small couch next to the hospital bed were Lindsay was laying and I was trying to get some sleep after this regular checkup changed into a horror scenario. They say that the pain for giving birth can be equivalent to breaking 54 bones in your body on top of that Lindsay had the burden of knowing it was all for nothing as our baby was deceased. I tried to support her as good as I can, but taking away physical and emotional pain in a situation like this with you also being the father was a very difficult task. Giving birth the natural way was far from easy. but I am very proud of Lindsay that despite all the physical and emotional pain she delivered the child naturally.
What to do next next ? Surely the hospital ( I live as a foreigner in Thailand with Lindsay) wanted us the sign a package deal for the delivery hospital cost before we stayed in the hospital, which we did. The package deal would cost 48.000 bath and we were ok with this and I signed for this. We also agreed that we wanted to do some blood test ( for Lindsay and the baby) and do an autopsy on the baby to determine the cause of death after when it was born so you know for the next pregnancy what not to do (in case it was something the mother did or ate which could have caused the tragic death).
When the baby was born the first thing the doctor said is how tight the umbilical cord was around the poor baby girls neck, it was immediately clear what the cause of her sudden death was. So there was no need to do any tests on the baby, the package deal of 48.000 bath was for the stay of of few nights in the hospital and for natural delivery and that’s what happened. But not according the people who made the bill as the bill was 98.000 bath then reduced to 86.000 bath. Surely I asked why the bill was double the price? Well according the hospital they had to research the placenta and do like 20 blood test and that’s why the price was double. I asked them if I was a Thai man with no history at the hospital, if they also would have presented a double bill ( they would have wanted the money upfront ) ? I told them: if I would hire you to do my garden for 100 euro and we agree and later you present a bill of 200 euro with the explanation that you also had to buy a shovel and some compost and bought new threes it would not be part of the deal. Surely the insurance came with the “best” story to not pay, yes it was agreed that pregnancy would not fall under the insurance coverage as you choose for this yourself, I can understand. But I did asked if our premium insurance for the both of us would cover complications during pregnancy. You could call this a “complication” yet when I had the insurance people on the phone their excuse to not pay was that I was a foreigner (falang) not from Thailand and therefore they would not pay??? So I got pretty mad and asked them if they would immediately refund the last 7 years as I paid the highest insurance payment per year to them ( for a premium insurance). Why take my money to make an excuse like that, unheard of!
I finally paid 56.000 bath ( so somebody in the hospital knew they were wrong, but they tried) and I finally left the hospital with Lindsay. My good friend Danny removed all the bought baby clothes, crib, baby seat etc from the house as this would just stare you in the face and I wanted to try to avoid any more unnecessary stress after this horrible experience.
“God's” messengers came around while we never asked for it.
When we came home I started to study the internet about the umbilical cord. I knew at least a few people in my family and our social circle who had bad experiences with the umbilical cord. My Mother’s friend lost a child like this, my trainers sister’s wife lost a child like this after being 8 months pregnant. The doctor in the hospital told us that there was a woman who had a similar experience then us but then gave a perfect birth during her second pregnancy, but in another case a woman experienced 3 x in a row her baby to die from complications involving the umbilical cord. Then there is plenty of cases were the child is born early because of the problems with the umbilical cord, sometimes resulting in children who have all sorts of problems.
I read a few articles on the net and read about opinions on the umbilical cord and surely there is the imbecile church and some spiritual people and others so called experts not blaming the umbilical cord ( see link)
as it is a perfect creation blablabla. In the article some retard perfect creation lover tries to make arguments why the umbilical cord is so great. Then argues that it’s never the fault of the umbilical cord as babies get their life support through the umbilical cord and therefore an umbilical cord around their neck will do them no harm or choke them. As if a baby with an umbilical cord tight around their neck would not get in distress and for example would cut the blood flow to their heads or stop their heart beat. Then many of the umbilical cord “fans” especially from the religious kind, say it is not good and necessary to make people who are pregnant scared about the “perfect” created umbilical cord.
When I read the another article about the truth of the accidents with the umbilical cord it made much more sense to me.
For example, the doctor told us after 6 months we should write down the amounts of baby kicks ( mother Lindsay can feel the baby kicking and you can even see the belly move) while she was moving in the womb. Our baby was really active, but sometimes less. Lindsay did complain the baby was kicking a lot less a few days before our next checkup and that she slept better at night because of less movement of the baby. But we did not really think much of this, but if the doctor would have told us during the last check up, if the baby does not kick as much as she normally does rush to the hospital immediately as we have the experience that the umbilical cord can cause early dead or all kinds of problems, we would have fly to the hospital in light speed ( retard columnist writing about scaring people does not help, but actually gives a false statement).
Defending the umbilical cord?
So why are so many religious people and some other spiritual defending the umbilical cord? Well we arrived again at the house of God, the “perfect” creator. I got a question for you God, why the fuck did you make the umbilical cord so long that so many babies and parents unnecessary suffer from your miscalculation of the length ( to long ) of the umbilical cord, causing dead misery and grief ?
Then in the hospital God and spiritual people always seem to knock on your door when there is death and misery. First of all when Lindsay was in pain she screamed quit a few time Ohh God and God, while she is not religious (the word is used so much that it is embedded in her subconscious and with her more than half of the world population). Then when the baby was born the doctor said they had Buddhist monks who could go to the temple to pray for our dead child and there was a chapel of the church and a prayer room for Muslims. We decided to cremate the child and had the hospital take care of this. Why a funeral, why invite family from all over the world to prolong this drama, would that help us or the deceased baby? I remember that another family member lost her life in the fight against cancer, the husband decided to take care for his sick wife at home and not let her spend her last time in the hospital. Lovely church going people, for months the sick mother turned more yellow and yellow and finally there was only blood, feces, vomit and tears and the husband cleaning up this mess every day, finally resulting in an agonizing dearth in front of the father and the children she passed away on the couch at home. I carried the coffin at the funeral and of course there was the church ceremony. I dislike that place and everything it stands for it’s so cold and spooky and people worship a guy nailed to a cross. And while all this misery is going on and people speak words about the deceased the church sends people around with a little basket to donate money to the church (same when my grandfather died). Those money collections are done in a full church of mourning people and this collection is on top of the payments you have to make for the church ceremony and speeches of the pastor speaking about life and above all God. Then family members can mourn at a grave for years and never leave behind their loved ones and surely it is not a coincidence that most graves can be found near churches, so you can step in to the house of fantasy when you are an emotional wreck and donate some more money and speak to the imaginary friend in the sky.
God is not home…please leave your message after the beep and you’re wish and above all leave your money at a local church near you.
God who was not there when all these babies and the parents suffer because of the umbilical cord. God who was not there when a family member battled cancer. But when a baby is born it’s a miracle from God when there is a problem “Gods way are mysterious” and he is not home, please leave your message after the beep and you’re wish and above all leave your money at a local church near you.
Then to all the pro - life church demonstrators against abortion where are they when all these mothers/parents really want a baby, but “God” decides to strangle them and give those little babies a heart attack or some brain damage? Where are “God’s” protesters when the baby is born with down syndrome or is paralyzed? I did argue about this before and one of the main arguments from the pro-life god community is that a few months old baby cannot decide for themselves to be alive, if the parents would determine for abortion. Now these are not some incidents, if I look around me at me at my family and friends alone, there are at least 20 cases concerning problems with the umbilical cord which results in dead and misery All these people wanted to have a healthy child, but when a child is born who suffered from these umbilical cord harassment and it needs to go to a special schools and needs twice more attention than a child who is born healthy, Gods pro-life community protesters are nowhere to be found except maybe for planning the next attack ( like bombing attack) on an abortion clinic. And God does not send extra checks for the "problem" child which does not only needs twice the attention, but is much more expensive for the parents, never mind the mental damage to the parents and loved ones. But you can pray in God’s house of mysteries for a miracle and if one miracle does happen ( one in a million) it’s the work of God. For the other 999.999 miracle prayers: Gods ways are mysterious.
God loves Crocodiles and Jellyfish
If there would ever be a creator his “perfect” creation would be a jelly fish and a crocodile. The crocodile / alligator lays eggs has no natural enemies ( except humans ) they don’t die of old age, do not get infections and have a flawless immune system. They have been here on earth longer then a 100 million years and the only way they could get extinct now ( if not by nature) it’s because humans like to run around on crocodile shoes and have crocodile leather jackets and stuffed dead baby crocodiles on top of their fireplace at home.
Humor for Healing.
Comfort for me during a difficult time is humor! We are moving on leaving this horrible experience in the past where it belongs. Focusing on our desired outcome. I saw recently the documentary of Monthy Python flying circus on TV were John Cleese was talking about the main character Graham Chapman who was an alcoholic ( why was he such a talented actor it’s possibly because 80% of his performances were done while intoxicated) and he died at the age of 48 from cancer. His last prank (few day's before he died) was that he called a Newspaper and told them he would give them an exclusive interview on how he beat Cancer. When his check arrived in the mail for the interview, he put it in his bank account the day when the interview was scheduled he died of Cancer and fooled the newspaper. The whole Monty Phyton movie circus crew created their own ceremony for his funeral and there was only laughing and fun especially when John Cleese spoke: Cleese delivered his eulogy to Chapman which began as follows:
Graham Chapman, co-author of the "Parrot Sketch", is no more. He has ceased to be. Bereft of life, he rests in peace. He's kicked the bucket, hopped the twig, bit the dust, snuffed it, breathed his last, and gone to meet the great Head of Light Entertainment in the sky. And I guess that we're all thinking how sad it is that a man of such talent and such capability for kindness, of such unusual intelligence, should now so suddenly be spirited away at the age of only forty-eight, before he'd achieved many of the things of which he was capable, and before he'd had enough fun.
Well, I feel that I should say: nonsense. Good riddance to him, the freeloading bastard, I hope he fries. And the reason I feel I should say this is he would never forgive me if I didn't, if I threw away this glorious opportunity to shock you all on his behalf. Anything for him, but mindless good taste. ...
Cleese continued after a break from the laughter in the audience and claimed that Chapman had whispered in his ear the night before while he was writing the speech, saying:
"All right, Cleese, you say you're very proud of being the first person to ever say 'shit' on British television. If this service is really for me, just for starters, I want you to be the first person ever at a British memorial service to say 'fuck'!"
and again all people present at the ceremony had tears in their eyes from laughing so hard. The best remedy to overcome any sad period in your life is to start laughing again as soon as possible.
Monthy Phyton life of Bryan was an early statement of pioneer film-making about how retarded religion is and very brave from the producers and creators for that time ( the seventies) with the main character being Chapman who was also one of the first British celebrities to openly say he was gay. At the end of the movie the whole crew was being crucified and singing” always look on the bright side of life” “The Life of Brian” is an all-time favorite of mine. The debate of John Cleese with two religious persons in the aftermath of the movie becoming a huge hit on you tube and the BBC is another highlight.
( look at the hands of the bishop in this you tube video, he must be gay himself and has for sure tons of shit to hide, his finger pointing is revolting)
Surely laughing and being happy after such a tragic event of losing a child is not an easy task, but it’s much better to try it that way, then mourning for months sometimes years and visiting a “dead” cult called church to remind you of the tragedy!
Laughter and happiness do not created a stress hormone called cortisol, but quite the opposite, we should move on in life and not make us physical and mentally sick because of reliving the past. Something religion is built on a myth of a guy resurrected from the dead who was tortured by his God father for the sin of mankind, who comes up with this kind of nonsense.
There has been bad things happening in the world for ages that hasn't changed. But more and more people are waking up to the fact that we create our own reality.
Quote: John Cleese: take the critical view, find out for yourself!
I wish everybody who has experienced this type of tragedy a lot of strength, I just saw The Life of Brian again and the Holy Grail and it made me laugh and sleep peacefully!
Here is a quote from Mike Dooley/ The Universe. Lindsay receives her daily universe quotes by email.
You are not meant to bear that which you find unpleasant, Lindsay, you are meant to change it. That's why you feel it. Your every twitch of pain and malaise invites you to wake up, pushing you to seek grander truths that will reveal a bigger reality and a more magnificent you, ever closer to an awareness of your true place within reality creation - as a Creator.
(C) Bas Boon